MexiFungus: It's not as fun as it sounds

As far as public service announcements (PSAs), Mexico wins. There's a billboard PSA here for maternal health checkups that's just a huge picture of a woman breastfeeding, nipple and all. What's more, the drunk driving PSAs far surpass their American counterparts. Forget a fucking billboard! The Mexican authorities actually just towed a mangled car into the middle of a crowded intersection and left it there, with a sign that says, "Drinking and driving don't mix." And, saying this car looked "mangled" doesn't really do it justice; it looked like it was the centerpiece at a Transformers gangbang.
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So I developed my first MexiRash about a week ago. Yup, exactly where you think it is. I was hoping it'd go away, but after a week of it getting worse and worse I said, "Fuck it," and walked into a doctor's office. He said I had hongos from wearing a wet swimsuit all day for a few days (I had a string of beach days). I had to think of what hongos was, and then I remembered that it's the word for mushrooms. I didn't like the thought of growing mushrooms on my skin, so I bought all the medications he suggested. One doctor's visit, one tube of antibiotic cream, one package of antibiotic pills: US$8.00. There is something seriously wrong with the American medical system.

In related news, this MexiRash really makes me feel like one of the people, ya know?
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Speaking of bodily functions, Mexicans are way O.K. with just putting it all out in public. It's not uncommon to smell a fart in a bar, and for some cute girl to raise her hand and admit it was her. Weird.

I was chatting a girl up in a bar as the place was closing. My odds felt good, and my buddies were working on her friends. I suggested that we all go to the beach, to which she said, "O.K., that's great, but I can't go swimming because I'm on my period." I was taken aback because I know that's not a good excuse, and that is also not something an American guy is accustomed to hearing within a couple minutes of conversation with a girl.